11 June 2012

Having Expectations That Are Too High Can Ruin Everything

When you are fresh out of a relationship which did not last too long for whatsoever reason it may
be, then you tend to look at the world through tinted glasses. Everything seems imperfect and you
seem to have lost hope on dating. When you finally start to look for a mature dating relationship,
then your constant search for perfection leads to disappointment at all levels.
This is one of the primary reasons why you should never keep your hopes too high for dating.
Nobody is perfect and when you want to search for someone who is perfect, you would be looking
for someone who is exactly as you want her to be. There would be an absence of individuality
which would affect you in the long run of mature dating relationships.
Of course, you should have good expectations and should never settle for someone who you think
is second best but the expectations should be mingled with a tinge of realism. Mature dating
relationships are all about finding the right person for yourself and taking decisions which would
affect your life in a positive manner. Instead of searching for someone who is perfect, you should
make a list of all the qualities which you look for in a girl. Maybe you will meet someone who
makes perfect sense of the qualities and is there waiting for you.
The point of making such a list is to review it. This would give you a good idea whether you are
being realistic enough in mature dating relationships instead of searching for that mythical perfect
woman. Having unnaturally high expectations tends to destroy any hopes of finding a soul mate.
This would lead to bitterness and misery which would further harm your state of mind.
But once you have a picture of what you are looking for in a woman who can make you happy,
then start the dating scene with wanton recklessness. Sometimes, the best way to find someone
you like is by not searching for her. Obviously the girl would not be telling you about her character
traits by the dozen, you need to figure that out yourself. Who knows who your perfect soul mate
is? Maybe it is someone who is half-way around the world or maybe it is someone who you met in
the train today or maybe it is that someone who is sitting beside you.
It is essential in mature dating relationships to remember to treat the other person the way you
would want to be treated. We are all imperfect so we won't always fight fair nor do everything in
the best interest of others, so we all need grace to mess up. When you offer forgiveness and
grace you will in turn receive the same when you need it the most. Keep the other person in your
mind and heart and know that as you give from a place of selflessness, you will have a huge
return on the investment in the end.
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