Do you find yourself stuck in a bad relationship?
By bad I mean one that feels empty, where there are no feelings of intimacy or love, where there is emotional or physical abuse and so on.
One of the main reasons that individuals remain caught in such unsatisfying or abusive relationships is due to the "fear of letting go".
This fear often may have many underlying roots to it. For instance there may be:
1. A fear of being alone.
2. A fear of feeling a deep sense of emptiness.
3. A fear that no one else will ever love you.
4. A fear of taking full responsibility for your life and/or looking after yourself.
5. A need to try to perpetuate some past abusive relationship in the current one.
6. A need to distract one's self from painful feelings that may emerge when the distraction of the current relationship is gone.
7. A fear that one will decompensate or fragment emotionally and/or physically.
Clearly the fact that the relationship is not working is a sign of concern. More concerning however is feeling incapable of exercising a free choice to leave it when all measures to rectify the situation have failed.
The factors mentioned above often are the result of traumatic relational experiences that you have stored in your mind/body and which originate in early childhood.
What is important for you to know is that such experiences limit your ability to have a fulfilling and satisfying life.
Many individuals seek out therapy of one sort or another to lessen the impact of such life history on their relationships but find that even after all is said and done this toxicity is still held deep inside them.
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If you look at how it feels to recall any negative memory, even one that you may have worked on in therapy I think you will recognize that there are always negative feelings and/or negative feelings about yourself associated with it. These feelings will always limit you in your relational life.
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