Men: How to Make The First Date Go Well!

Congratulations, she said YES to a date! Now what, panic? There are some simple things you can do to help smooth along a first date and maximise the chances of it being a great date so read our first  date advice and see if it helps you.

First you need to decide where your date should be. We've put together some great first date ideas to inspire you but the most important thing is to choose something that suits you and you think she'll like. Make sure your chosen first date idea will give you chance to talk, but maybe provide some distraction too. A coffee or lunch are good as they can be as short or lingering as the situation dictates whereas dinner does tend to promote lingering, which may, or may not, be ideal!

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Next, it's a good idea to prepare yourself for the conversation you'll have with your date. First dates should be about exchange of ideas and information, so don't monopolize the conversation and give her a chance to talk, but also tell her something about yourself to make her feel comfortable and see that you're being open and friendly.  (Don't make the entire conversation about yourself - this give a bad impression of being self centered). Confidence is possibly the single most attractive feature a man can possess ... but it's a fine line between confidence and arrogance.  When it come to getting to know her, it shouldn't be an interrogation and firing question after question at her will make her feel uncomfortable.  If there is an uncomfortable silence then having prepared a couple of topics beforehand will undoubtedly help the situation flow more smoothly; Think of a couple of serious topics you can ask your date questions about ... just make sure you have an opinion on them too!

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* Think of a couple of serious topics you can ask her opinion on. For example, something topical such as the environment or a book or piece of art that's received some press attention recently.

* Think of a couple of amusing anecdotes about your life you can share with her. This is a great thing to do as it makes you appear open and honest which will make her more comfortable whilst demonstrating you can be an amusing conversationalist.

* Make a list of things not to talk about - ex girlfriends for example are a definite no-no, as is your
obsession with late night drinking with your mates seven days a week.

Get yourself into the right frame of mind before your date. No-one wants to date a grumpy man so
make sure that you go to the date feeling positive and upbeat. Confidence is possibly the single most attractive feature a man can possess so make sure you're feeling confident about yourself - tell yourself you are an attractive and interesting person, that the date is going to be a good experience and you are looking forward to it and it will be a success and you should go into it feeling great which will show!

Get your grooming and hygiene sorted. There is no excuse for not being clean and presentable on a date. Making no effort will be perceived as disrespectful as she will assume you simply couldn't be bothered. You don't need to arrive looking like a catwalk model in all the latest fashion but you should be showered, shaved if appropriate, have cleaned your teeth and be wearing washed and ironed clothes. If you normally wear aftershave then do so but don't bathe in it, subtlety is the better part of attraction!

Watch your manners. There are very few ladies who don't appreciate having a door held open for them, being shown to a table and allowed to sit first and being told she looks lovely. Just do it with sincerity and be natural, tripping her up in a race to reach the door first tends to mean the gesture loses impact!

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 o Dating tip: avoid politically intense or sensitive areas and heavy religious discussion on a first date unless you have specifically chosen a date on their political or religious viewpoint.
o Dating tip: it's obvious but... make sure you have an opinion on the topic too, otherwise you'll look a bit stupid!
o Dating tip: don't choose a topic you have no interest in whatsoever as it'll show!

Survey says: South African Singles are lonesome

Millions of people recently celebrated Valentine's Day around the world, and it seems South Africans are facing a stark reality: they are love-starved.
According to a survey released, more than 32% single adults admit to feeling depressed and anxious about not finding love.
In the poll, conducted by a well known generic pharmaceutical specialising in medication for the treatment of depression and anxiety - three in 10 of the 529 single adults polled nationally, said being single makes them feel lonely, 12% said they felt less attractive and 36% blamed themselves for their loveless situation.
However, the majority (89%) still firmly believes in true love and 76% said that finding that special someone would contribute greatly to their overall state of happiness.
A spokesperson for the company said the today's young people are finding it harder to find long-term relationships.
According to the poll, the gym, book and dance clubs are popular hangouts for single South Africans.

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More than 35% of respondents said they are confident about finding their match online, while 26% cited the workplace, 23% the supermarket, 22% the park and 16% still relied on the local pub to produce their perfect mate.  Altogether 55% said they withdraw from dating opportunities and reject suitors based on past experiences.

The overall experience of online dating, and the ability to filter and specify the type of person you want to meet and date is gaining huge popularity around the world.  The ability to meet somebody online who you may never have met without the online dating site is a positive aspect to the process of signing up, profiling yourself and enjoying the experience of finding that "special someone".

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Online Dating - The Best Tips For Meeting The One For You

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Online dating has gained tons of popularity over the last few years. People are meeting other people online every day. Now, there are dozens of websites designed specifically for helping you find the right one. If you're interested in finding someone over the internet, you're going to need some tips for online dating to help you get started in the right direction.

Sign Up With Legitimate Sites - Don't sign up with websites that are not known well. For best results, it's recommended to find a couple of sites where there are lots of people. You definitely don't want to miss out on finding the right one.

Take The Tests - One thing you'll notice upon signing up to dating websites is that most offer a series of personality quizzes and tests to help match you with people you are compatible with. These tests are taken in the comfort of your own home while sitting at your computer. The end result is that you get paired with people who have similar interests to yours, which will provide you with a better online dating experience. You don't have to take the tests, but it's highly recommended if you want to enjoy good matches.

Put Up Pics - After you create your account, you'll be asked to upload a photo. You might not want to do this, but for best results, you should. Other people's first impression of you will be based on your photo. You'll also get a lot more messages and profile views, which is exciting to say the least. However, if you don't put up at least one pic of yourself, you might just find that no one is interested. After all, wouldn't you want to know who you were talking to?

Be Courteous, Respond! - When someone writes you a message, the worst thing you can do is not respond to them. Take a few moments to review their profile to see if you are truly interested. If you're not interested, the best way to let someone know that you're not into them is by not responding to them. However, if anything about them strikes your fancy, then let them know!

Check Your Mail Regularly - One of the best tips for online dating is to check your mail regularly. Checking your mail is the only way to know who has written you a message. It also helps to make sure that you do not sign up to so many sites that you become overwhelmed. Sign up to only a few, and remember to check your messages and respond accordingly.

Get To Know Them - After identifying a couple of people you are interested in, take the time to get to know them. Don't swap numbers just yet, but do take the time to chat online. It's important that you don't spend too much time chatting online, however, as most people quickly move on after a few conversations. If you plan to take this seriously, you should chat with them for a few weeks at most, swap numbers, and then meet in person.


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These tips for online dating are designed to make sure that you have the best possible online date
experience. Remember that in order to be successful you must take online dating seriously. If
you're truly interested in meeting someone, you won't have any problems doing so online.

Dating Tips We Should Know About

Don't you wish there was a magic way that could solve all of our dating troubles? I'm sure you do!  Fortunately that is not the case. I say fortunately because accepting it just the way it is makes life so much more interesting. Could you imagine a relationship with no challenges? Pretty mundane, don't you think? Relationships are not something we're instructed on, but instead, it's a way of life and the only way to learn is through trial and error, and learning from our mistakes.  We can learn a lot through, not only our experiences, but the experiences of our peers as well. No matter the age, we can all take in a little something from each other.

1. Commitment: means to show loyalty, duty or pledge to something or someone. Before jumping into the dating world, ask yourself, "Am I ready to be loyal? Am I ready to change my lifestyle so that it accommodates more than one person? Am I ready to keep all the promises I made?" Think carefully about it.

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2. Know Yourself. Before you can ever set out to know someone new, make sure you know who you are yourself. It's important for us to learn who we are before we can introduce ourselves to someone we barely even know.

3. Know What You Want. When you know who you are you're able to know exactly what it is you want. Once you know what you want, let it come it you. No need to go looking for it.  Believe it will happen for you - if you have a positive and self confident attitude people will be drawn to you.

4. Appearance. The way you carry yourself is also very important. The attraction you put out is the attraction you bring in. Meaning, you attract the type of people you portray yourself to be. If you dress nicely and take good care of yourself, then you'll attract the type of people who do the same.  Trust me, they will come.

5. Have Fun! No need to be nervous about the whole dating world. Let go and have fun. Dating shouldn't be a duty, but rather, a time of fun. Enjoy the date despite of what it may be tomorrow. Make it a wonderful experience!

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If we all lightened up a little, we'd realize just how much simpler things could be. Not easy, but easier. Nothings easy, but with the right tools, you can reach your goal.

Do You have a Pattern of Bad Relationships?

Meet YOUR Black Diamond

Bad Relationship Patterns - where we constantly begin relationships that start out full of promise, only for them to end up in disappointment and sadness. If this sounds like you, if you suffer bad relationship patterns, then you will do well to learn to recognize what the problems are. This is the only to escape from that constant cycle of pain and sadness.

When choosing our partners, the whole process appears to go through stages. Firstly, we become aware of someone’s attractiveness, and their exciting personality (or vice versa). What comes next is the discovery that we possess certain interests, principles etc., that are common to us. Then we come to a state of mental arousal, where we begin to “click”, before finally, a more meaningful, psychological attachment develops.

If you experience bad relationship patterns, then surely you’ll recognize these feelings:
Conflict, Obsession, Feeling of Loss/Loneliness, Physical sensations/reactions, Repetitiveness/Boredom, Vulnerability.

• Conflict: Never mind how you felt about your lover, deep down you always recognized something wasn’t quite ideal about the relationship. You felt feelings of jealously, uncertainness, nervousness or stress because of the relationship you were in.
• Obsession: You believe that it is your own actions or words that drove your partner(s) away, though you remain convinced that you can fix things and turn the object of your passion into the adoring, loving person you desperately desire.
• Feeling of loss: At the end of the relationship, you feel a sense of deep loneliness. Where you once felt a ‘connection’ with your lover, now there is only sadness, regardless of how painful or stressful that relationship turned out.
• Physical sensations: Something your lover says or does, results in a familiar physical sensation that is deeply uncomfortable, for instance, a headache or a knot in your stomach.
• Repetitiveness: Lots of your relationships started full of promise and hope, only to spectacularly fail later . Even though the people involved are not the same, the ending always turns out badly.
• Vulnerability: You have a long-standing vulnerability; you are very conscious of your own ego and as a result are always looking to ‘prove yourself’ to your lover.

 If you experience one or more of the symptoms detailed above, and you find it difficult to forge long-lasting relationships, then you could have an issue with bad relationship patterns. So what can you do about this? Simple – you need to discover your own psychological needs are. By discovering yourself, you will identify the forces at work that shove you into the clutches of undesirable partners. Once this is understood, you will actually be able to avoid bad relationship patterns and into a more rewarding, loving relationship that you seek.

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Avoiding Internet Dating Pitfalls

Online dating advice is easy to give, but it's amazing how quickly mot people forget the basic rules.
I have two objectives - to make sure you are successsful with your online dating and to make sure you stay safe.
Below is a summarized handy list.  If you follow these tips, you'll discover that your Internet dating experience will be more fruitful and you'll be safer.

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Write a Profile that's the Right Length
Writing just a few sentences and most people will think you didn't put enough thought into it as it is clearly too short;  make it too long and they may not read to the end.  Three paragraphs is a good length if you can create an interest overview of who you are.  Mention some of your interests and hobbies. Observations such as "I'd love to travel to Europe sometime, but for now Italian restaurants give me a taste of what's to come," show that you're interesting and have a sense of humor.

Don't Reveal Personal Details
Never give away personal information: your last name, where you or work.  It's too easy for someone to find you.  While most people online are well-adjusted but you can never be too careful.

Until you know someone very well, don't tell them more than they need to know. This is probably the most important online dating advice and safety tip of all - meet someone for the first time in a public place. There's no leeway on this one - it provides you an "out" if you need it.

Posting Your Photo
And consider this:  photos are the downfall of many people.  One of the most common mistakes is posting a bad photo. You don't have to have a formal portrait done, but you should make sure the photo is a clear, close-up shot without others in the picture. Don't post a photo you obviously took of yourself with your computer cam late at night. Also don't post photos where your ex was obviously cut out of the picture.

Do NOT Grovel
Avoid phrases like, "no games - I've had enough of them," or "broken heart needs healed." This kind of stuff smacks of emotional baggage - something no one wants to start a relationship having to cope with.

Keep Your Initial Emails Friendly and Upbeat
No complaints about past relationships or how lonely you are. Instead, make sure the other person sees you as someone who is complete and happy already. If they understand that you want to add someone special to an already fulfilling life, they will be drawn to you as someone who can enhance their own life.

Be Honest about Yourself
Don't forget this important online dating advice. Fudging the facts on income, what you do for a living or what you like to do, you'll only dig yourself into a hole. At some point the truth will come out, and you'll have way too much explaining to do.

Be Truthful about What You're Looking For
If you want a serious relationship, be honest so that you don't get involved with someone who is only looking for something casual. You'll get hurt and have wasted your own time and theirs. The same goes for the opposite scenario - don't lead someone on if you know they're looking for true love but you just want someone to hang out with for a few months.

Pick Up on the Other Person's Cues
As you move on to exchanging your actual email addresses or phone numbers, be sure to pick up on the other person's cues. If he or she emails or calls and you have a great chat - wonderful!
Agree at the end of the conversation when you'd like to talk again and stick with it. Don't blow them off - a sure sign you aren't reliable. On the other hand, don't call earlier or email too often - clinging like that is a definite turn-off during what should be a cautious phase.

Do Your Research
There are hundreds of dating websites available, and many sites cater to specific groups. If you want a Christian-based relationship, consider a Christian online dating site http://www.christianmatch.co.za/   If you are looking for something that's purely physical, there are sites that focus on that as well. Don't just randomly pick a site. You may discover that it has lots of members, but not many who have anything in common with you.

Finally, don't give up. The best online dating advice I can give is to be patient and try a few different online dating services. It may take some time to find the right person, but along the way you can make some great friends and have some fun.
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Some Tips for Success with Online Dating

With the Internet's effect to many people today, more and more services are done through the use of this medium. Dating has certainly evolved to accommodate today's trendy lifestyle with what we call "online dating" and there are actually a good number of online dating success stories that can be found.
Do you want to be successful in your online dating experiences? However, a number of people may think that the online dating is a simple scam but there are sites that are honest enough and the people who join do meet and have face to face relationships.
When you aren't that fond of looking for a partner in the real world, or maybe you are just too timid to try, then dating on the internet is the perfect thing for you. To be successful on your online dating site is not a matter of luck but planned preparation. Luck always happens when preparation meets fate.

If you follow the next tips for an online dating success would really be helpful.
Reliable Online Dating Site.
There are dozens of online dating sites on the Internet, you must do a little bit of research beforehand.
Once found, the first thing to do in an online dating site is to complete the profile and enhance it so that others will be interested to read its contents, but you must practice a little bit of caution avoiding posting your physical address, contact number, or your work affiliations. Your e-mail or chat address is sufficient to communicate with them.
There should not be many blanks on your page since it would not make you look interesting for others who might view your profile. You must select a screen name which takes pointers from you and you must have a photo in your profile. This will help so that others will see clearly the face behind the profile.
Don't get too personal
When creating a profile with one of these online dating sites, practice a little bit of caution. Always try to keep your chats witty, informal and general in nature. Since you don't know what kind of people are there on the online dating services, do not give out or ask for personal information such as income status, past relationships and medical problems. Talk about your likes, ambition, occupation, studies and home life to remain on neutral ground.
Online dating can be a fun experience for those who wants to have fun and enjoy the having new friends or start a new relationship. Online dating success reach when you know how to sell yourself to others.
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Having Expectations That Are Too High Can Ruin Everything

When you are fresh out of a relationship which did not last too long for whatsoever reason it may
be, then you tend to look at the world through tinted glasses. Everything seems imperfect and you
seem to have lost hope on dating. When you finally start to look for a mature dating relationship,
then your constant search for perfection leads to disappointment at all levels.
This is one of the primary reasons why you should never keep your hopes too high for dating.
Nobody is perfect and when you want to search for someone who is perfect, you would be looking
for someone who is exactly as you want her to be. There would be an absence of individuality
which would affect you in the long run of mature dating relationships.
Of course, you should have good expectations and should never settle for someone who you think
is second best but the expectations should be mingled with a tinge of realism. Mature dating
relationships are all about finding the right person for yourself and taking decisions which would
affect your life in a positive manner. Instead of searching for someone who is perfect, you should
make a list of all the qualities which you look for in a girl. Maybe you will meet someone who
makes perfect sense of the qualities and is there waiting for you.
The point of making such a list is to review it. This would give you a good idea whether you are
being realistic enough in mature dating relationships instead of searching for that mythical perfect
woman. Having unnaturally high expectations tends to destroy any hopes of finding a soul mate.
This would lead to bitterness and misery which would further harm your state of mind.
But once you have a picture of what you are looking for in a woman who can make you happy,
then start the dating scene with wanton recklessness. Sometimes, the best way to find someone
you like is by not searching for her. Obviously the girl would not be telling you about her character
traits by the dozen, you need to figure that out yourself. Who knows who your perfect soul mate
is? Maybe it is someone who is half-way around the world or maybe it is someone who you met in
the train today or maybe it is that someone who is sitting beside you.
It is essential in mature dating relationships to remember to treat the other person the way you
would want to be treated. We are all imperfect so we won't always fight fair nor do everything in
the best interest of others, so we all need grace to mess up. When you offer forgiveness and
grace you will in turn receive the same when you need it the most. Keep the other person in your
mind and heart and know that as you give from a place of selflessness, you will have a huge
return on the investment in the end.
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Seduction and Dating Advice

There are a lot of things men should know about women before they start dating them. You could
be a shy guy who has never gone dating with a woman for years.
If you wish to jump into the dating bandwagon, you should do well to consider some dating advice.

o Carry yourself in good attire. It is time that your entire wardrobe gets a makeover. Your dating
venture will be a complete disaster if you carry yourself shabbily.

o Hygiene and styling play a very important part when you go dating. For sure, a woman would not
want to spend her evening with a man who has bad breath or poor hair styling techniques.

o Though, dating is a casual affair, you would do well to brush up your knowledge on current
affairs. Should there be a situation where you would be discussing current affairs, I am sure you
would not want to be in a fix.

o Do not drive the fact to your woman that you cannot live without drinks. This fact would have
very few takers. You should do well to get this sorted and then go dating. This will also reflect on
your behavior.

Seducing women is another piece of art. Remember, women get rarely seduced by how you look.
The biggest winning point for seducing women is how you are. You are sure to carry your attitude
up your sleeves and roll them when needed. You would not be able to seduce a woman by force.
You can do it only if the woman wants to get seduced.
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5 Ways To Attract Positive Relationships Into Your Life

As we travel through our life's journey, many relationships will come into our lives. Some of them will be wonderful and long lasting; others, unfortunately, may be short term or unhappy.

Do you tend to attract more negative relationships than positive? Though we strive to develop good, solid, and happy relationships, it seems we sometimes end up with exactly the opposite. Wouldn't you love to attract more positive relationships? The good news is, you can!

Try some of these simple tips to enjoy more positive relationships in your life:

1. Patience. Wonderful relationships don't occur overnight. They take time to nurture and develop into something that's long lasting. To allow these relationships into your life, you must have the patience to let them grow.

• When you begin a relationship that you perceive as being a positive one, don't rush it. You may be very pleased to see what develops down the road.

2. Believe that you're deserving of it. Be positive and avoid negative feelings or perceptions about yourself. Know that you deserve to have happy, stable relationships in your life.

• If you begin to think negatively, you must turn these negative thoughts around immediately. Clear your mind and regain your self-confidence.
• Remember, positive attracts positive. When you think positive thoughts, you'll be rewarded with positive results.
• You'll ultimately attract positive relationships into your life with the positive energy you're giving off to others. So be a good example of the friend or partner you look to attract!

3. Be true to yourself and others. If you're not true to yourself, whether you believe it or not, others will sense this. Don't try to be something that you're not; this is a negative way of portraying yourself to others.

• As mentioned before, positive attracts positive, but negative attracts negative as well. Show others your true self, including your flaws. They'll appreciate your open and willing heart and be able to form a strong bond with you more easily.
• Be genuine to others and allow them to see your true feelings and personality. Trying too hard to act like someone else could lead to embarrassment for you.

4. Don't take relationships for granted. Remember to always give thanks for the valuable relationships in your life. They may not be as numerous as you'd like, but rather than complaining, be thankful for the ones you have now and have had in the past.

• By professing your gratitude genuinely, you'll have an easier time attracting future positive relationships.

5. Be honest. If you're in a negative relationship right now, that will tend to keep positive relationships from coming into your life. Be honest with yourself and others. Make a conscious decision to either improve that relationship or end it. 
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