Have FUN and Liven Up Your Relationship!

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What is the Fun Aspect in your relationship? Couples have the tendency to become complacent in their relationship including the fun aspect of their relating. This is traumatic to the relationship as it stifles its energy flow creating a numb, stuck and disconnect feel and dissatisfied partners.

Regardless of your relationship stage, it is imperative that you have fun with your partner. Your brain and body chemistry change when you have fun together. This engenders and supports bonding and connectedness. Partnership fun creates positive and loving energy in your in-between that creates aliveness, passion, and intimacy. There are other countless benefits to having fun as well – like strengthening your immune system and more.

What is your Personal Fun Aspect? Do you know how to relax and have fun? What is fun for you? What is surprising, exhilarating, hilarious? What type of humor do you have? What do you find silly, amusing, funny? What makes you laugh? Do you banter, tease, joke? Do you do pranks? Do you play sports or games? What activities do you enjoy doing? How physical do they get? Do you clown around, horseplay? Are you in touch with your body? What gives you pleasure, delight, joy? Exploring these questions for yourself will give you some insights into what you bring to your relationship fun.

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Are you in need of expanding your Personal Fun Aspect and being more open-minded, flexible, engaging? This is an opportunity for you to stretch yourself and expand your repertoire. This practice will assist you integrate this potentially lost, denied or disowned part of your self. Start becoming whole again and feel your aliveness – engage your potential!
Can you imagine the benefits to your relationship, and your life, when you start doing this? It’s amazing! Now, be cautious at the same time because you might throw your partner off and they might be resistant to the new you. Mindfully share this part of you. There is no need to spook your partner – invite them into the fun!

Online Dating - Is it a Love Hate Relationship?

 Online dating... it's a love hate relationship isn't it? I'm sure you've heard of all the horror stories about online dating... girls being cheated, men spamming your inboxes and men who just want to have fun... and I don't blame you for freaking out after hearing so many horror stories.

I know you will want to try it out if you are new to the dating scene or if you haven't been dating for a while. And going out to meet new people isn't exactly your cup of tea right now. I understand... it's scary to suddenly get out of your comfort zone and go out there and be vulnerable. So, if you put on some pants and get out there, you will increase your chances of meeting your MR. Right. But that's not say online dating can't work for you.


Think about this... If you as an eligible woman who is kind and gentle submitting your details to these dating sites, do you there will be eligible men who are nice and sincere submitting their details to these dating sites as well?  Your chances are pretty high don't you think?
That being said, why is the success rate for online dating sites so low?

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First of all, if your impression of online dating site is on the negative side and you think that all the men on those sites are out to cheat or they are not serious then naturally that will be your experience because that's what you belief and focus on.
Because that's your perception, then even if a nice guy contacted you, you'll doubt his intentions and you end up self sabotaging yourself.

Secondly, if you are someone who judges a lot on the physical, the men you attract will also judge you on the physical. The same principle applies to dating agencies. They match you based on the superficial level.... how he looks, what's his job (tittle), how much he makes....
How can you make online dating work for you... while you are in your PJS...?
Get rid of the mindset that all the men on the dating sites are jerks. If you feel so, don't bother participating.
 
Get clear on WHY you want to participate on the dating site. i.e. To make new friends.
Your profile picture should be one that is able to show the real you. No bikini photo.
Write your profile truthfully. You don't want to attract the "wrong" kind of men.
Send out good and positive vibes and expect success.
Be clear on one thing, if you haven't been dating for a while now, you may get all excited about going on your first date and lose yourself. Going on dates doesn't mean you have to pretend to be someone you are not to impress the guy. The purpose of these dates is to get to know the guy better and get clear on what you want and what you don't want. If he ain't the right one... move on....
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Do You Know How to Apologize?

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There Are Four Steps. Are You Doing All Of Them?

Are you and your partner having a tough time getting over an argument? Here are some tips to help. 

 1. Surrender to your responsibility.
When you become aware that you have made a mistake, admit it and apologize. Use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. You don’t have to be afraid of punishment or rejection –- apologizing makes it easier to be forgiven.

2. Don’t be afraid to admit you're wrong.
This fear comes from a culture of blaming and accusing -- where your early family or schoolmates may have picked a "culprit" when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the problem and healing the hurt. Don’t approach every situation as if you're on trial, and don’t compulsively try to convince everyone you're not guilty. Apology and subsequent forgiveness is stress-releasing, and healthy for the relationship, which turns out to be healthy for the participants in the relationship. Relationships which include healthy apology and forgiveness are less stressful, more supportive, and therefore healthier for the individuals within them. 

3. Follow the following pattern for apology:
Admit your mistake: Speak directly to the person to whom you need to apologize.
State what you did (so the person knows you’re aware)
Say you’re sorry
Do a re-take: Describe what change you’ll make to fix it, and so it won’t happen again
Say “I hope you can forgive me.”

4. If that doesn’t work, ask the other person what he or she wants you to apologize for (in case you misunderstood your mistake).

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Why Women Dump Men - Do You Know Why She Left You?

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If you really stop and think about it you might still have a difficult time figuring out why women dump men. That's because many men still find women to be a huge mystery. It's part of their charm most of the time but in moments like these can be the bane of your existence. The good news is that women are not as difficult to figure out as you've been taught they are.

They really only want one thing from you: an abundance of appreciation. She works hard to make your life run smoothly. She does the dishes, cooks your meals, washes your clothes, folds your socks, and even cleans your bathroom. In fact, she does many of these things so well you might not even notice that she's doing them.

That's when the trouble starts. She doesn't realize that by not noticing these things it's actually a compliment to her (because we all know you'd notice if dinner wasn't getting made or your lunches weren't getting packed every morning). I bet she even sets the coffee pot so that you have a nice piping hot cup of much needed caffeine every morning. Have you told her how much you appreciate all these little things she does that makes your life easier?  If not, give it a try and watch how quickly everything about her just lights up and glows. She does this for you. She wants to make you happy. That makes her happy. All she really needs in return is for her efforts to be noticed and appreciated.

Some men mistake this for high maintenance but she does a lot in return for the appreciation she's asking for. It's a fair trade unless you really want to mate your own socks, cook your own meals, and clean your own toilets for the rest of your life. The reason I say this is that all women want to be appreciated for these little things and that lack of appreciation is one of the major reasons why women dump men. It will eventually become a bone of contention in all your relationships if you don't master it early and learn it well.

Brownie Points
Do you want to know how to score a few extra special brownie points in the appreciation department? She'll be speechless and feel so loved when you do this. Offer to do all these things for her for one day while she goes out and gets her nails or hair done. Give her a day off and you take on the jobs she does for you all the time. You might even get tears of joy, a lot of respect, and some very personal adoration from her as a result.
Knowing why women dump men can help you avoid this situation. Now that you know what she needs, what are you going to do to make sure she gets it?

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How To Seduce A Woman

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Men who seduce women are not setting a trap, they are presenting an opportunity. Either way, the man is the bait and the result is the same in the end. You can by a book or study a website that teaches you how to seduce women, but in the end, it is all up to you.
Do you want to know how to seduce women? Be yourself. Be attentive. Be the kind of man that women want to be with. Who are those guys? They are just like you, only better at seduction.
A man who successfully seduces women is sure of himself. He doesn’t need female companionship, though he does desire it, the same way a woman desires male companionship. A seductive man is assured, he has everything he needs, but he realizes he needs a little something more. He needs good company. He needs a woman the way a woman needs a man. He doesn’t assert his need, but he lets a lady know he is available.

A seductive man is open to listening. He is open to touching. He is open to letting his lady companion express herself. He pays attention. He doesn’t direct the conversation, he follows the flow, adding his insights and commiserating when appropriate. A seductive man has open ears and open eyes. When the moment is ripe, a man with seduction on his mind holds his lady friend’s hand. He touches her arm. He touches her cheek. He watches the woman’s reaction. When she has had enough he withdraws. When she feels the thrill is over, a seductive man doesn’t press the issue. He waits for the next opportunity. Seduction is a series of steps, one moment at a time.

A seductive man is himself. He has a life and he is successful at what he does, even if it is being a night clerk at a convenience store. Not every man can be a high-powered attorney, an influential politician, or a popular celebrity. Attractive women know this. Chances are, the woman you are trying to seduce is none of these things, either. Just be good and content at what you do. Women respect a man who is sure of himself and his abilities. An auto mechanic can be the best lover. He knows how moving parts fit together.
 
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When a man seduces a woman, he appeals to her natural inclinations. He studies her. He learns what she likes, what turns her on and what turns her off, what makes her blush and what puts a spark in her eye. The seductive man sets off sparks whenever he can. When a man seduces a woman he follows her lead without taking control, though he steers conversations and he makes himself available to the woman’s needs.

Nothing is more electric than touch. A seductive man is not overly eager to kiss or to hug, but he does it when it is appropriate, and he does it with a purpose. He does it to set off sparks. If the moment isn’t right, a seductive man doesn’t overstay his welcome. Always keep them wanting more. When in doubt, defer or cut it short. She'll tell you if she wants more. There is always tomorrow. Seduction can be a long enticing dance.

5 Tips To Help You Find A Serious Relationship Online

Have you been online dating for a long time and just can’t seem to keep a man interested for more than a few weeks at a time? If this is the case for you, do not worry; you are far from alone in having this problem. One of the most difficult parts of meeting men online is that men have access to hundreds of women every single time they sign on the computer. Not only does this create way too many options for men, but it also encourages bad behavior, and can even create somewhat of an online dating addiction for men, as they consistently strive to find that next big thing.

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In order to find the type of quality guy online that we know is not going to fall into these habits, one has to be on the look out for certain signs that make it much more likely he is looking for a serious relationship. While there is no way we can guarantee he is not one of those dreaded serial daters, looking for certain signs may help us to severely decrease our chances of this happening. So let’s take a look at a few clues that will help you to week out the worst men, and choose the best.

1. The length of his online dating profile.
The length of a man’s profile will reveal a lot about who he is, and what he is all about. If you stumble across a man’s profile that looks as if it took ten minutes to fill out, odds are he is not that serious about finding a meaningful connection. Those who are interested in finding something meaningful will take the time to carefully express everything they are looking for, in order to provided themselves with the best possible chance of online dating success. And besides, even if he is serious about finding a relationship, but has a short profile, this is still an indicator that he may be lazy and have little drive in other aspects of his life.

2. The types of pictures he has posted.
The written portion of the profile is not the only part of the profile that tells the story of what the man is all about. As the old saying often goes, a picture can easily be worth a thousand words, and then some. If you are looking at a man who is partying it up in every single picture, acting over the top silly in every single picture, or a guy who is with random different women in every single pictures, then there is a good chance that you are dealing with a man who is still on the immature side, and is not even close to being ready for a serious relationship. Avoid this at all costs.

3. The amount of times he logs on.
If you notice that a man is consistently logging on to the dating site you are on, even after your first date, odds are that he is not looking to settle down with you anytime soon. This is especially true when It occurs weeks later. In order to know whether or not he is logging on all the time, be sure to block your profile from views before actually spying on him. Many sites will allow you to make it private when you view somebody else’s profile. The last thing that we want to do is have the man thinking we are stalkers when we are merely just curious about whether or not he has the right intentions with us.

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You Didn't Break - The Relationship Broke Up

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How soon can I heal after a break up?
This is a major setback and it really does depend on several factors.
After a breakup, you really have two choices. One, leave the healing to time. Two, take charge of the recovery process. 

The first method will take a long time, pain and suffering before healing. It is slow and torturous. The second method, taking control, will allow anyone to accelerate the healing process, learn fast and move on, leaving space to find healthier and more fulfilling love than ever before. 

You may need some guidance on the steps for a fast and productive emotional healing. We have never been taught how to heal emotionally, so when we go through an emotional situation we are on our own. We need a method, a successfully proven method for emotional healing.

You can heal but how you heal depends on:

1. You ability to understand the reality of the situation.
The more willing you are to face up to some facts such as a. I made a mistake or made a wrong choice. This excludes blaming yourself.

2. I am responsible to clear this mess (this excludes fault-finding!)

3. The willingness to clear up the mess it would involve something from me. Time, energy, resources and emotional reserves, even relationships etc…
But this is an opportunity cost, meaning: I must be ready to either pay this price or pass on a bigger mess to my children, to my future, and my destiny.

4. Know yourself! When you are AWARE of your own emotional reactions, your thoughts around the experience and the interpretations that you made and the conclusions YOU make then you can through the emotional upheavals still be able to catch yourself, re-channel your thoughts and take action eventually based on reality and never your hurt feelings.

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Romance is Not Necessarily Love

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 In romantic depictions of love, cute little images of cherubs and cupids abound. But Cupid, in his real incarnation, is not so sweet and cuddly. His arrows can create deep and lasting wounds, and can strike you blind and irrational in a heartbeat. A few disaster-filled run-ins with Cupid’s dart and you can readily believe that love will never work for you.

Even if you take responsibility for your own life in most ways and successfully handle most work and social situations, when it comes to intimate relationships you may feel helpless and out of control. You may find yourself inexplicably obsessing on someone who isn't available or interested, or even feeling so needy and helpless that you are unable to protect yourself when you are criticized, abused or degraded. It’s a very painful experience when a romantic relationship with the partner whom you hope and expect will provide you with love, joy and fulfillment of our dreams turns into a miserable, disappointing and dismal failure.

A Dependent Image of Love
When it comes to love, it’s easy to forget how to think clearly, because we have all been bombarded with images that imply love and dependency are the same thing:
• Lovers should depend on each other to supply their needs, to take care of them and “make it better”,
• Lovers should need each other “You are my happiness, I'd die without you”
• Lovers are incomplete without each other, and that two should “become one”—losing their individual personalities, friends, interests and opinions in the process.
This dependent image of love has been reinforced for generations of songs, poetry, plays, books, movies and television soap operas that have celebrated a dependent model of romantic relationships that contains neediness, desperation and the idea that only love (from a perfect partner) can make life better. This “ideal lover” is supposed to:
• Love you no matter how unreasonable you are,
• Always be there when you want or need him or her,
• Always know exactly how to sooth your hurts,
• Always know (and be prepared to give you) precisely what you want (even if you’re not sure yourself), and
• Put your needs before his or her own needs.
This “romantic” image of love sounds good, but although it seems exciting and fulfilling at first, such a relationship cannot flourish. Since no one else can ever care for you as well as you can yourself (they can't know your needs and wants as well as you do, they can't tell what their care-taking feels like to you, and they also have their hands full with their own needs), one or both of you will wind up feeling ripped off, used, neglected, unloved, and generally dissatisfied.
The romantic ideal creates dysfunctional relationships, in which the ground rules are:
• You can't talk about it (it might upset the other person),
• It's hopeless (since you can’t talk about it, you can't solve it together), and
• We're both helpless (we can’t control our own behavior, or outbursts of anger, or make effective choices).

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Don't Make The Same Mistake Twice!

Dating Again? Use These Five Tips On Every Date!

You are fresh out of a disaster, and you are terrified of the thought of dating again, but you're going to try anyway. Good for you! Here are some guidelines to help you avoid repeating old mistakes:

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1. Pay Attention!
You Have Things to Learn Here! The most important aspect of this date, in addition to having a good time, is to get to know each other better. No matter how excited, turned on or thrilled you may be about this date, listening to what your date says, watching what your date does and understanding how your date feels are still your primary objectives.

2. What Your Date Thinks of You Is Not Your Business.
Your Business Is What You Think of Your Date. One of the easiest ways to lose your objectivity and balance in this is to worry about what your date thinks about you. If you spend your time essentially trying to look at yourself through your date's eyes, guessing what he or she is seeing when looking at you, or hearing when listening to you, you'll miss what's really happening. You're supposed to be evaluating the other person, not pretending to look at yourself through his or her eyes. Pay attention so you know what YOU think of your date.

3. Look for Integrity.
Make sure your date walks his or her talk. Anyone can talk big. Actually, some of the best people don't present themselves well. Don't overlook someone who is not gorgeous, charming and glib, but has all the qualities you really need in a partner.

4. Be very consistent and careful about your sexual safety.
Until the relationship progresses to the point that you become monogamous, and both have been tested for STD's, be careful. The nicest people can be infected with a disease and not even know they have it. If you have had unprotected sex, have your doctor do a screening for STD's. Don't assume your partner is monogamous, especially if you haven't discussed it in detail.

5. Know the signs of emotional blackmail:
A demand: Your date won't take "no" for an answer, and requests are really demands.
Resistance: When every discussion turns into an argument.
Pressure: Your date pressures you to go along.
Threats: Your date uses threatening or coercing tactics: threatening to end the relationship, tears, rage, badgering. Hopefully, because you've thought about the serious issues in advance, you'll still be able to relax and have a good time.  If it's so good, that you decide to keep dating each other. Then, you'll need a whole new set of skills.

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Get The Loving Relationship That You Want And Deserve

Successful living begins with loving, passionate relationships that are mutually beneficial to both partners. Many people "settle" for just any relationship and never get the love they want and deserve.
If you want a loving, passionate relationship with that special someone, then you have to be willing give more of yourself unconditionally to get the rewarding marriage you want and deserve. Zig Ziglar said it best when he said, You can have everything you want if you help others get what they want.
Many people measure their success in life by the loving relationships that they have with their spouse or significant other. When a person finds that special someone in their life, they find new meaning and purpose.

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Almost all successful, loving marriages begin with a strong chemical and hormonal bond, but that is only the beginning. That chemical component is a very good start, but it is not the only ingredient for developing a deep, meaningful relationship. Lasting relationships are based on love, trust, friendship, values, goals and so much more.
Having a successful life is impossible unless you have happy, healthy relationships. Strong, life-long marriages begin with the understanding that there must be give and take with the other person. You must give to them and they must, in turn, give back to you. Likewise, you must be willing to receive from each other.
One person can not do all of the giving and one do all of the receiving. I promise you if this is happening in a marriage, then this relationship is headed for failure and, possibly, worse because this is the makings of an abusive relationship, not a healthy one. And if you are in an abusive relationship, then you need to get out of it now. Take action to get control of all aspects of your life.
Effective marriages require each person to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent to their relationship. Assuming that our spouse completely understands our needs and will give us what we need without asking for it is not a good practice.
Respect is the key to any relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, spouses must treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to our husband and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to your husband by confirming that they are doing everything they can. Affirming our mate is something that is greatly overlooked and ignored by many couples.
The opposite of respect is making quick judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice. Respect is the very foundation for a great marriage. This also means respecting yourself and respecting your mate and their feelings.

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Listen to your spouse when they are sharing the important things from their day. By effectively listening and not pre-judging their comments, we show them that we care about them and what they do. This is important if married couples are to understand each other.
Just as important as listening itself is developing an atmosphere where each of you can safely express their feelings when they need to. When spouses fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective, productive relationship. Be open to one another and you will find you will enjoy a deeper, more meaningful life together.
Focus your time and energy on building a very happy, fulfilling relationship with your mate. Start by giving more of yourself each day and watch the return you get back from them. Get the love that you want, by giving your partner the love that they desire.