27 August 2014

Don't Make The Same Mistake Twice!

You are fresh out of a disaster, and you are terrified of the thought of dating again, but you're going to try anyway. Good for you! Here are some guidelines to help you avoid repeating old mistakes:

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1. Pay Attention!
You Have Things to Learn Here! The most important aspect of this date, in addition to having a good time, is to get to know each other better. No matter how excited, turned on or thrilled you may be about this date, listening to what your date says, watching what your date does and understanding how your date feels are still your primary objectives.

2. What Your Date Thinks of You Is Not Your Business.
Your Business Is What You Think of Your Date. One of the easiest ways to lose your objectivity and balance in this is to worry about what your date thinks about you. If you spend your time essentially trying to look at yourself through your date's eyes, guessing what he or she is seeing when looking at you, or hearing when listening to you, you'll miss what's really happening. You're supposed to be evaluating the other person, not pretending to look at yourself through his or her eyes. Pay attention so you know what YOU think of your date.

3. Look for Integrity.
Make sure your date walks his or her talk. Anyone can talk big. Actually, some of the best people don't present themselves well. Don't overlook someone who is not gorgeous, charming and glib, but has all the qualities you really need in a partner.

4. Be very consistent and careful about your sexual safety.
Until the relationship progresses to the point that you become monogamous, and both have been tested for STD's, be careful. The nicest people can be infected with a disease and not even know they have it. If you have had unprotected sex, have your doctor do a screening for STD's. Don't assume your partner is monogamous, especially if you haven't discussed it in detail.

5. Know the signs of emotional blackmail:
A demand: Your date won't take "no" for an answer, and requests are really demands.
Resistance: When every discussion turns into an argument.
Pressure: Your date pressures you to go along.
Threats: Your date uses threatening or coercing tactics: threatening to end the relationship, tears, rage, badgering. Hopefully, because you've thought about the serious issues in advance, you'll still be able to relax and have a good time.  If it's so good, that you decide to keep dating each other. Then, you'll need a whole new set of skills.

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12 August 2014

Get The Loving Relationship That You Want And Deserve

Successful living begins with loving, passionate relationships that are mutually beneficial to both partners. Many people "settle" for just any relationship and never get the love they want and deserve.
If you want a loving, passionate relationship with that special someone, then you have to be willing give more of yourself unconditionally to get the rewarding marriage you want and deserve. Zig Ziglar said it best when he said, You can have everything you want if you help others get what they want.
Many people measure their success in life by the loving relationships that they have with their spouse or significant other. When a person finds that special someone in their life, they find new meaning and purpose.

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Almost all successful, loving marriages begin with a strong chemical and hormonal bond, but that is only the beginning. That chemical component is a very good start, but it is not the only ingredient for developing a deep, meaningful relationship. Lasting relationships are based on love, trust, friendship, values, goals and so much more.
Having a successful life is impossible unless you have happy, healthy relationships. Strong, life-long marriages begin with the understanding that there must be give and take with the other person. You must give to them and they must, in turn, give back to you. Likewise, you must be willing to receive from each other.
One person can not do all of the giving and one do all of the receiving. I promise you if this is happening in a marriage, then this relationship is headed for failure and, possibly, worse because this is the makings of an abusive relationship, not a healthy one. And if you are in an abusive relationship, then you need to get out of it now. Take action to get control of all aspects of your life.
Effective marriages require each person to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertinent to their relationship. Assuming that our spouse completely understands our needs and will give us what we need without asking for it is not a good practice.
Respect is the key to any relationship. In order to create a more effective relationship, spouses must treat each other with respect. We can show respect just by listening to our husband and by trying sincerely to understand how they function. You can also show respect to your husband by confirming that they are doing everything they can. Affirming our mate is something that is greatly overlooked and ignored by many couples.
The opposite of respect is making quick judgements based on unfounded facts and prejudice. Respect is the very foundation for a great marriage. This also means respecting yourself and respecting your mate and their feelings.

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Listen to your spouse when they are sharing the important things from their day. By effectively listening and not pre-judging their comments, we show them that we care about them and what they do. This is important if married couples are to understand each other.
Just as important as listening itself is developing an atmosphere where each of you can safely express their feelings when they need to. When spouses fail to express whatever is on their mind or their feelings, it can get in the way of building an effective, productive relationship. Be open to one another and you will find you will enjoy a deeper, more meaningful life together.
Focus your time and energy on building a very happy, fulfilling relationship with your mate. Start by giving more of yourself each day and watch the return you get back from them. Get the love that you want, by giving your partner the love that they desire.