1 August 2016

Mistakes You Shouldn't Make After a Breakup


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We all lose someone we love at some point. People come in and come out of our lives from time to time. In some cases, you can say that a break up results in the same feelings as the death of someone you love. The process of grieving the loss of a relationship can be quite similar. Many people don't know how to cope with a break up especially if it is their first relationship. While letting yourself grieve is important, there are some tips that you should know about how to go on after a breakup. If you are wondering how to pull the pieces of your life back together then following are some mistakes you should be sure to avoid:

1 - Contacting your ex all the time. This will only cause your ex to run away and sabotage any chances of you becoming friends after the relationship. Also, it may take longer for you to heal if you maintain contact, since you'll also be exposing yourself to the drama of constantly hearing news about your ex (or their new partner).

2 - Spending more than your means. Lots of people think that buying new stuff will help with the depression. This actually doesn't do anything to help with the grieving process. It only distracts you from what you are truly feeling and drains your bank account.

3 - Eating too much. Although it may make you feel better for a while, food is never the answer to depression. And an expanding waistline will only make you feel worse.

4 - Starting to drink, smoke or take up any vices. These vices only provide temporary relief for yourself. However, these habits could only do worse as they lead to health complications or addictions overtime.

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5 - Befriending people who are not supportive. When we lose our self-esteem, we tend to hang around with people who only damage our confidence further. This is the worst way to handle the situation. What you need right now are positive people who can bring back your self confidence.

6 - Seeing someone else. This is the biggest mistake people usually make. You've only broke up last week and you already think you are ready to start something new? You're moving too fast when what you need right now is some time off.

Surviving a break up can be very traumatic. In fact, lots of people don't know how to go on after a break up and find themselves struggling. It may be one of the hardest things you've done in your life. If this is the case, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Many have gone through the experience and lived to tell the tale. You might even learn a few things as you allow yourself the time to grieve. Start being happy with yourself again. You know that you can always trust yourself. Don't be too tough on yourself during this time. Give yourself time and you will find healing.

What Deep Rooted Fears Are Keeping You Single?

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It is very difficult to sit with a group of your friends and hear their stories and experiences that are taking place in their relationships - especially if you’re on your own. It will make you look at your life and wonder just how it is that you’re still single while all of your friends your age are married or at least in serious relationships. You start to feel down, depressed, frustrated and wonder if you’ll ever have what they do.
Have you ever thought that this could be something that you’ve brought on yourself? There are actually fears that can keep you single and you may not even know that you have them.
You may be afraid that you will be single forever. This is something that many single people fear whether they admit it or not. It usually happens when you’ve had a few, or more than a few, unpleasant or seriously awful relationships, especially in a row. Somewhere in the back of your mind you’re thinking that you may NEVER have that just right relationship. This can really worry you if it’s later in your life than you thought you’d be single. Men can tell when a woman is desperate and scared to be on her own. Sensing this can change the way a man feels toward you. So, you see, holding onto this fear that you’ll never meet the Mr. Right may very well push him away when he DOES show up. 
Another fear that can keep you single is the fear of losing your man. Most people are on their best behavior when they first meet. However, there are some guys that act creepy right out of the gate by assuming too much about where your relationship is going. They may even start getting possessive and/or controlling. Women that exhibit this same type of behavior with men after only a few dates will scare those men away. So when you start worrying about losing the guy before you ever really connect with him, it can make you act in ways that, while totally uncharacteristic of you, can cause the end of this relationship before it even starts. 
One of the top fears that might keep you single forever is that he will turn out to be just like your ex. This is pretty easy to understand. If your last relationship ended badly, you need to take enough time to get emotionally under control again. When you give it enough time, then your next man will get a fair chance without you comparing him to your ex. Breaking the emotional ties to your past, and the fear associated with it, helps you move away from the past without taking any old problems or patterns into the new relationship you’re trying to get off the ground.
Be very honest about whether or not you have these fears. Only by admitting to them can you start getting rid of them. 

5 Secrets of Why Men Lie to Their Girlfriends

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The social dynamics between men and women is just as complicated as the sexual dynamics between men and women. Lies are actually a common aspect of these dynamics with many reasons why this is so. Why do men lie? You'll hear women ask this a lot. The answer is not as big of a surprise as you might think. 

Men and women lie for a number of reasons, but the top five reasons men lie, in no particular order, are:
1. To avoid conflict
2. To spare someone's feelings
3. To keep from getting into trouble
4. To enhance your own status
5. To flatter someone


Of these so called "little white lies" the one that is the most prominent and socially acceptable is the lie we tell to spare someone else's feelings. Often it's difficult to decide if it's worth it to tell the truth when asked your opinion. For instance, if someone asks you "Do I look okay?" you are likely not going to open your mouth and say, "No, you look terrible."  A small little lie to spare that person's feelings is considered morally acceptable. Men lie like this to women because they do not want to hurt a woman's feelings. So while you can complain about men lying, there's a legitimate and positive reason a man can lie.

Also an acceptable secret of why men and women lie is to enhance their own status. Status is something men want in women. Jobs are a perfect example of this. It is more than socially acceptable to kiss up to the boss by claiming to play golf on a regular basis, or pretending to enjoy the same drink and cigar when at a social function. Social lies like this are considered completely acceptable when you're attempting to increase your workplace status.

Most of the time, people don't even realize they're lying. If you're asking yourself why do men and women lie, you'll find that many people don't consider these small and socially acceptable tales lies. However, there are a number of lies that are not socially acceptable and the reasons will vary.

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Some people lie because they enjoy the thrill of it. Others lie because they want to hide something from their lover or boss. Having an affair, for example, is a lie that that is not considered socially acceptable and is very unhealthy for all parties involved. Men lie to make themselves look better in the judgment of women.

The reasons why men lie to women are numerous and some, more than others, are definitely overlooked. I hope it answers your question of "why do men lie". Most times it is considered unhealthy to lie because of the destruction in can wreck on relationships. If this is a possible outcome, lying should be avoided if possible.

Top 5 Reasons Independence is Important in Your Relationship

Living in a close relationship with your special someone is invigorating, exciting and fun.
In reality, a healthy relationship is made up of two mentally strong people. They each lead independent lives and have the desire and ability share their lives as well.
 

These are a few of the reasons why this balance of separateness and togetherness is important:
1. Independence makes the relationship more intellectually stimulating. If each party brings his or her individual interests to the table, they'll have some fascinating and different subjects to talk about with one another.
2. You can depend on your partner for support when you need it. If each partner is independent, each one is comfortable depending on the other when the going gets tough or when life gets hectic. A relationship is, in essence, a partnership. Knowing you can count on the other person is wonderfully supportive.
  • Having confidence that your partner can "be okay" without you while you're at work or otherwise engaged relieves you of having to worry about how your partner will manage in challenging situations.
  • Relationships do have an ebb and flow that requires that one partner lean on the other occasionally.
3. Two independent people in a relationship can mean a more balanced relationship. When you're both independent, the relationship is healthier. Nobody is exclusively relegated to a specific role.
  • When balance isn't present, one partner might take the role of "the strong one" in the relationship while the other partner is consequently "the weak one." Equilibrium in the relationship means no one partner is more or less powerful than the other.
4. Your relationship becomes stronger. When two independent people make a decision to have a relationship, their time with each other is more special and sacred. Even though a sense of independence is important for each partner, being willing to share with the other what you love to do is a great way to spend quality time together.
  • Bringing independence to your relationship promises a deeper, more lasting partnership, since it's built on acceptance of each other as a whole human being.
5. A sense of independence makes you more emotionally secure. This works for and benefits both partners.
  • If a partner is emotionally secure, they're not afraid to show their strength and their softer side at the same time.
  • Each person's sense of independence can help facilitate more openness and honesty in the partnership. No matter what you say or do, you know that your mate will ultimately be okay, since their independence already shows that they're able to take care of themselves.
  • When you come together at the end of the day, maybe one is tired or bored. The other can step in and revive the other or bring some ideas to the table.
  • Neither partner will feel threatened by their mate's autonomy and sense of personal strength and emotional security.
Partners in a relationship will enjoy a much deeper, longer lasting connection when they each have a sense of independence. Bringing up different interests for discussion, feeling like you can depend on the other and having a balanced relationship all stem from both parties having their own sense of autonomy.