20 July 2019

Myths About Relationships - Part 1

There are many myths about relationships, and the problem with persistent myths is that they can erode a relationship's happiness.
When you think a relationship should be a certain way, and yours isn't, frustration sets in. 
Here are a couple of myths about relationships that might surprise you.  I will deal with more in the next couple of blogs.

Myth: A good relationship means that you don't have to work at it.
Fact: "The strongest most enduring relationships take lots of hard work," Our culture, education system and parenting styles don't necessarily prepare us for the fact that even good relationships take effort.

A healthy relationship is like a good garden. It's a beautiful thing but you wouldn't expect it to thrive without a whole lot of labour and TLC.

But how do you know if you're working too hard on a relationship? One sign, is if you're feeling unhappy more than you're happy. In other words, are you spending more time tending to the relationship and keeping it afloat than enjoying it?  Perhaps this unhappiness becomes less of a rough patch, and more like the "normal state of affairs".

Another bad sign is if you're trying hard to make improvements and changes, but you don't see the same level of effort on your partner's part.

If both of you are trying and you can see positive changes being made at least some of the time, then that's a good sign.

Myth: If partners really love each other, they know each other's needs and feelings.
Fact: "It's a setup to expect your partner to be able to read your mind,"
We're always responsible for communicating our feelings and needs.  Once you've communicated your needs and feelings,  a good indication of the quality of your relationship is whether your partner actually listens to your words.

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