27 April 2016

Are You Aware that You May Be Sabotaging Your Relationships?


We all want to think we know ourselves well enough. That we know who we are, what kind of a relationship we want to have and how to behave with our partner.
In all likelihood you are no exception.
Yet there might be some things about yourself that you DON’T know. Unfortunately, these “things” might cause you to sabotage your relationships time and again – without you knowing that you do.
You might disagree with this assertion. It might be painful to think that you are NOT totally aware of the ways your attitudes, reactions and behaviors drive you to sabotage your relationships (or inability to enter one).
Thinking it over with honesty might help you realize how much aware you are and how much control you have over them:
* Do you feel you can control, change and choose your attitudes, reactions and behaviors, or do find yourself “controlled” by them?
* Do you feel you make CONSCIOUS DECISIONS about how to behave with your partners, or do you find yourself operating on the basis of AUTOMATIC PATTERNS which repeat themselves throughout all your relationships?
* Is it possible that you interact with your partners in ways that HARM the relationship (that you either don’t see or don’t think you can change)?
* Is it possible that you are NOT AWARE at all that you harm your relationships? That whenever conflicts arise between you and your partners you blame them, not willing to take responsibility for your part in the problems (or the eventual break-up of the relationship)?


It shouldn’t surprise you that you might NOT be aware of the above (maybe even deny and reject it). Self-Awareness is not something you have been taught at home or in school.
But if you find yourself experiencing ongoing difficulties and failures in your relationships (or in your ability to enter one), and are willing to contemplate the possibility that there might be things about yourself you DON’T know and that you might be SABOTAGING your relationships -
The best you can do for yourself is to take the necessary steps to BECOME AWARE: to get to know and understand yourself better; to realize that there might be factors you were UNAWARE OF UNTIL NOW (such as: your needs and fears, belief-system, unrealistic expectations and fantasies) which controlled your attitudes, reactions and behaviors and drove you to harm your relationships.
Becoming aware empowers you to make the necessary changes and cultivate a successful relationship.

5 April 2016

Factors Why Some People Find Love While Others Don't

People wonder why some couples make it and others don’t. To begin with, why do some people find love and others don’t. Here are the many factors that can contribute to a successful love life that are often overlooked.

Men can find stability in a woman attractive because they don't want someone who doesn't know how to control her emotional intelligence or issues which may come up in life. Men aren't going to like drama and do like to keep things easy going, so this is why they want a stable partner.


Attraction is different for everyone
Not only is the opposite sex confused about what the other finds attractive, but each individual is different. Individuals can have unique standards about what they find attractive in the opposite sex, especially about personality traits.

Approval, make him feel accepted
Men are captivated to others who make them feel accepted. Someone who doesn't want too much from him or the way he acts. Someone who doesn't try to change him, or anticipate too much in a relationship. He wants to be relaxed around the woman he spends the rest of his life with.

Independent/ Make him feel desirable
Whether it's; financially, emotionally, or relationally, men can find independence attractive in a woman. Being too needy can be a turn-off. But did we know that being independent can be a turn-on? An independent woman will not only appeal to the men who want a low-maintenance partner, but also puts out the vibe that she's strong and doesn't need him, making him feel that she needs to be pursued.
On the other hand, some women are the opposite. This can also be a turn-on to some men. There are men around who want to take care of their woman, and a more dependent woman can touch his masculine, heroic, loving side.
To be safe if you don't know him yet, display both sides and have a healthy balance of each, not overbearing on either.

Gets along with friends and family
Many times a relationship doesn't just have to do with the couple involved, but with friends and family as well. This can mean that chemistry doesn't just have to do with the two of them, but how well she fits in with friends and family. Where lovers may come and go friends and family are more lasting. So if he has to make a choice between the two, he can sometime pick his friends over her, as they're the more lasting of the two.

Fits into his life-style
Chemistry doesn't always have to do with two individuals, but with his lifestyle. Many factors can come into play, his financial situation, their aspirations, traveling, flexibility, people he associates with, and other factors. Chemistry and attraction doesn't always have to do with two people, but at times has to do with how well they match each other's lifestyle.

The right time in their lives
Timing is everything in life. The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. Love happening is related to the right timing in life. When; professions, feelings, wants, and biological clock's pair just right. Where the both of them met and were looking for love in the right time in their lives, that`s when love will strike.

Whether it's that they met the right people, or have a lot of connections, luck can now and then be the final factor. Is it luck, or just getting out there and meeting the right people and making yourself as available to meeting as many as possible?

The people you know
Friends and family who have paired them up well could be the factor that made love take place. They could just be fortunate enough that when her friend met the right man for her, she was thinking of matching them together. Most of the time life isn`t about your own abilities, but who you know in life. Getting the word out to your close and trusted friends can help in pairing you up, as they may know just the right man for you.

Looking in the right place
Meeting Mr. Right has to do with seeking in the right places. If the qualities you're attracted to are class, and intellect, then your chances of finding him are better off in a library than in a club. Hang out in places, and join activities where he'll most likely be found. Looking for him in the wrong place is just going to waste your time and could even distract you with the wrong kind of guy.

Don't close doors
Most people don't have the fairy tale love story of love at first sight. Attraction frequently comes over a bit of time. Writing him off as unattractive or putting him in the friend zone too early can be untimely. Most couples are formed from friendships and people spending time together before deciding whether they are attracted to each other or not.

These are the many factors that can participate to love, and questioning why a couple has it won`t necessarily give you the answers that will help you find love. Keep looking, stay upbeat, and keep your hopes up, love will find you soon.