27 April 2016

Are You Aware that You May Be Sabotaging Your Relationships?


We all want to think we know ourselves well enough. That we know who we are, what kind of a relationship we want to have and how to behave with our partner.
In all likelihood you are no exception.
Yet there might be some things about yourself that you DON’T know. Unfortunately, these “things” might cause you to sabotage your relationships time and again – without you knowing that you do.
You might disagree with this assertion. It might be painful to think that you are NOT totally aware of the ways your attitudes, reactions and behaviors drive you to sabotage your relationships (or inability to enter one).
Thinking it over with honesty might help you realize how much aware you are and how much control you have over them:
* Do you feel you can control, change and choose your attitudes, reactions and behaviors, or do find yourself “controlled” by them?
* Do you feel you make CONSCIOUS DECISIONS about how to behave with your partners, or do you find yourself operating on the basis of AUTOMATIC PATTERNS which repeat themselves throughout all your relationships?
* Is it possible that you interact with your partners in ways that HARM the relationship (that you either don’t see or don’t think you can change)?
* Is it possible that you are NOT AWARE at all that you harm your relationships? That whenever conflicts arise between you and your partners you blame them, not willing to take responsibility for your part in the problems (or the eventual break-up of the relationship)?


It shouldn’t surprise you that you might NOT be aware of the above (maybe even deny and reject it). Self-Awareness is not something you have been taught at home or in school.
But if you find yourself experiencing ongoing difficulties and failures in your relationships (or in your ability to enter one), and are willing to contemplate the possibility that there might be things about yourself you DON’T know and that you might be SABOTAGING your relationships -
The best you can do for yourself is to take the necessary steps to BECOME AWARE: to get to know and understand yourself better; to realize that there might be factors you were UNAWARE OF UNTIL NOW (such as: your needs and fears, belief-system, unrealistic expectations and fantasies) which controlled your attitudes, reactions and behaviors and drove you to harm your relationships.
Becoming aware empowers you to make the necessary changes and cultivate a successful relationship.

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