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Let's face it, nothing feels quite like having someone special in your life - a significant other to call your own.
But ask yourself this. Are you making the mistake of assuming you're in a committed relationship with a man you're dating?
The truth is, just because you're dating,
enjoying each other's company and sleeping together doesn't necessarily
mean he's on the same page when it comes to your involvement.
If you're unsure about where you really stand with a guy, these 6
tell-tale signs can help you determine if he's as committed as you are.
1. He Runs Hot and Cold
Does he exhibit unreliable and flaky behavior? This is often a good indicator that he's "shopping around."
If he appears totally into you one minute, then can't remember your
name the next, his confusion is probably the result of him entertaining
other options.
2. He Never Introduces You As His Girlfriend
If he's introducing you as "a good friend" instead of his
"girlfriend," to friends and acquaintances, take note! More than likely,
he doesn't view you as "his."
3. He Never Uses Romantic Terms of Endearment
Another tactic a guy may use to keep the relationship from seeming
too serious is to use verbiage that conveys he sees his involvement with
you as casual.
For example, if he always uses playful, yet neutral nick names such
as "Kiddo" and "pal" instead of referring to you as honey, sugar or
baby, chances are he doesn't think of you as "his woman."
4. He Only Wants to See You at His Convenience
If your involvement is lopsided and you're only spending time with
him on his schedule and on his terms, then more than likely, you're not a
priority for him.
5. He Doesn't Invite You to Special Events or Social Engagements
When a man is truly committed to you, he wants you to be involved in
some of the activities he enjoys and functions that are important to
him.
Not that you have to do everything together, but if he never asks you
to come with, odds are pretty good that he doesn't view you as his
lady.
6. He's Always "Missing In Action"
If you're constantly unable to reach him or consistently don't hear
from him over several hours and even days, it's a pretty safe bet he's
seeing other women.
Knowing where you really stand with a guy will not only prevent you
from wasting time with a man who isn't ready or interested in something
more meaningful; understanding that he may not see your relationship the
same way will keep you from feeling betrayed and becoming disappointed
and hurt.
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Realizing that you and he are not a couple also frees you up to avail
yourself of other options and is a great way to let a guy know that
he's not the only "bull in the stall."
This will get his attention and may even cause him to step up and stop taking you for granted.
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Dating is no
longer, what it used to be. You also have to realize that your boyfriend
or girlfriend had his or her own friends’ priority to meeting you.
Dating is about learning
and exploring the possibilities that exist in a relationship and
figuring out if the relationship can move to the next level. You cannot
expect your partner to abandon his/her lifestyle to fit in with yours.
Here are three things you should not do when dating:
Don't Expect Your Partner to Give Up “Me” Time
Everyone deserves to have some “me” time where he or she relaxes and
loosen up after working hard or taking care of business. Do not expect
your partner will be around you 24/7. Your partner deserves to have some
alone time where he or she can wind down without being disturbed. Every
relationship should have time out where each partner can relax without
choking the other partner up.
Do not monitor your partner
Some people are fond of calling their partners up and when he or she
does not answer the phone, they press the redial button immediately.
Calling your partner too frequently is a sign of desperation (or
insecurity) when there is no emergency. Your partner may be at a meeting
at work or in-transit and cannot pick up your call. It may also be that
your partner wants to have some time alone. Learn to wait for an
explanation before charging and jumping to conclusions about his/her
whereabouts.
Monitoring your partner’s movements or phone calls is a sign of
insecurity. Do not try to sneak and check your partner’s phone every
time it rings or ask who is calling. Do not try to be too clingy. It
also shows some signs of insecurity. Allow your partner talk to whomever
he/she wants to.
Do not try to change or control your partner
Your insecurities may also push you to want to control your partner and expect him or her to take to your rules. Dating
is more like trying on clothes to see which ones will fit you. You
cannot try to change someone just to fit into your own ways. You either
accept them for who they are along with their flaws or move on to find
someone else. Trying to change or control someone is narcissistic and
should not be encouraged. You can learn to understand your partner and
work together to figure out how best to improve on your communication
and relationship while building into one another.
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If you find anything wrong, it is best to bring it to your partner’s
attention by having an amiable conversation than an intense argument. It
is okay to let your partner know about your fears (if any) and you both
work at it together. Relationships are not rocket-science. It takes two
people who know and understand each other while dating to make a relationship work.
Dating is all about trying to figure each other out, ensuring you
both share values and are compatible. You also trust, love and are
committed to each other. Your partner’s time should be valued as well as
yours and respect each other’s space. The more you give your partner
the space needed and build on each other, the deeper you give room for
your relationship to thrive.
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During life, we all seek to know someone well enough to feel love
and be loved; we seek to connect and be a part of another person's life.
When we look for love, sometimes we are looking for a lot more than
love itself. We are not just looking for someone to be with, but we are
also looking to fulfill everything we need in life. We want
understanding, someone by our side; we want companionship, sentiment,
and all the desired characteristics we find attractive and need in
another person. Love has a big list to fill, or so we think so.
Finding love can be a lot easier when we let go of all that we think we need because love can be enough all by itself.
It is when we get distracted by our other needs that we forget or even
overlook the love that is or can be there, for finding love isn’t about
finding the criteria we think we need in another person. Love is more
than our list of what we want. Love, true love, can be in a very
different from what we would ordinarily find attractive or essential to
our needs. Imagine if you were more open and aware of what your true
needs were and instead looked from this place? Imagine if you let go of
all you think you need in order to fall in love with someone? By
letting go of your agenda of what love is and needs to be, you can feel
love for the sake of love. If you let go of how it must be, you can
feel it from a more pure place.
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We may not even see the love that is available to us because of our biased idea of how it must be for us.
True love, the person that really fits us, does not always come in the
package we deem essential. If you let go of your idea of the perfect
match, the perfect love, and allowed yourself just to feel and be open,
who would you see? What person in your life have you overlooked simply
because they didn’t fit in with your idea of the perfect mate? What
relationship are you stuck in because you believe this is what love
should be, even if you don’t feel it? Love can come from the most
unexpected places. Do not keep yourself stuck in a loveless
relationship because you think it is ideal and fits with your
expectations. Do not ignore the possibilities based on your assumptions
of what this other person may or may not be. Open yourself up to
everything around you and lose your criteria for love. Love encompasses
more than you think, and it can overshadow all you have ever known so
far. Let yourself find love by escaping from what you think love is.
Open up to love with no ideas of how it has to be. When you do this,
finding love is a lot easier, for you give yourself a chance to find the
love you are meant to be with.
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What is the Fun Aspect in your relationship? Couples have the
tendency to become complacent in their relationship including the fun
aspect of their relating. This is traumatic to the relationship as it
stifles its energy flow creating a numb, stuck and disconnect feel and
dissatisfied partners.
Regardless of your relationship stage, it is imperative that you have
fun with your partner. Your brain and body chemistry change when you
have fun together. This engenders and supports bonding and
connectedness. Partnership fun creates positive and loving energy in
your in-between that creates aliveness, passion, and intimacy. There are other countless benefits to having fun as well – like strengthening your immune system and more.
What is your Personal Fun Aspect? Do you know how to relax and have
fun? What is fun for you? What is surprising, exhilarating, hilarious?
What type of humor do you have? What do you find silly, amusing, funny?
What makes you laugh? Do you banter, tease, joke? Do you do pranks? Do
you play sports or
games? What activities do you enjoy doing? How physical do they get? Do
you clown around, horseplay? Are you in touch with your body? What gives
you pleasure, delight, joy? Exploring these questions for yourself will
give you some insights into what you bring to your relationship fun.
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Are you in need of expanding your Personal Fun Aspect and being
more open-minded, flexible, engaging? This is an opportunity for you to
stretch yourself and expand your repertoire. This practice will assist
you integrate this potentially lost, denied or disowned part of your
self. Start becoming whole again and feel your aliveness – engage your
potential!
Can you imagine the benefits to your relationship, and your life,
when you start doing this? It’s amazing! Now, be cautious at the same
time because you might throw your partner off and they might be
resistant to the new you. Mindfully share this part of you. There is no
need to spook your partner – invite them into the fun!
Online dating... it's a love hate relationship isn't it? I'm sure you've heard of all the horror stories about online dating...
girls being cheated, men spamming your inboxes and men who just want
to have fun... and I don't blame you for freaking out after hearing so
many horror stories.
I know you will want to try it out if you are new to the dating
scene or if you haven't been dating for a while. And going out to meet
new people isn't exactly your cup of tea right now. I understand... it's
scary to suddenly get out of your comfort zone and go out there and be
vulnerable. So, if you put on some pants and get out there, you will
increase your chances of meeting your MR. Right. But that's not say
online dating can't work for you.
Think about this... If you as an eligible woman who is
kind and gentle submitting your details to these dating sites, do you
there will be eligible men who are nice and sincere submitting their
details to these dating sites as well? Your chances are pretty high don't you think?
That being said, why is the success rate for online dating sites so low?
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First of all, if your impression of online dating site is on the
negative side and you think that all the men on those sites are out to
cheat or they are not serious then naturally that will be your
experience because that's what you belief and focus on.
Because that's your perception, then even if a nice guy contacted
you, you'll doubt his intentions and you end up self sabotaging
yourself.
Secondly, if you are someone who judges a lot on the physical, the
men you attract will also judge you on the physical. The same principle
applies to dating agencies. They match you based on the superficial
level.... how he looks, what's his job (tittle), how much he makes....
How can you make online dating work for you... while you are in your PJS...?
Get rid of the mindset that all the men on the dating sites are jerks. If you feel so, don't bother participating.
Get clear on WHY you want to participate on the dating site. i.e. To make new friends.
Your profile picture should be one that is able to show the real you. No bikini photo.
Write your profile truthfully. You don't want to attract the "wrong" kind of men.
Send out good and positive vibes and expect success.
Be clear on one thing, if you haven't been dating for a while
now, you may get all excited about going on your first date and lose
yourself. Going on dates doesn't mean you have to pretend to
be someone you are not to impress the guy. The purpose of these dates is
to get to know the guy better and get clear on what you want and what
you don't want. If he ain't the right one... move on....
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There Are Four Steps. Are You Doing All Of Them?
Are you and your partner having a tough time getting over an argument? Here are some tips to help.
1. Surrender to your responsibility.
When you become aware that you have made a mistake, admit it and
apologize. Use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. You don’t have to
be afraid of punishment or rejection –- apologizing makes it easier to
be forgiven.
2. Don’t be afraid to admit you're wrong.
This fear comes from a culture of blaming and accusing -- where your early family
or schoolmates may have picked a "culprit" when something went wrong,
and focused on blame, rather than on fixing the problem and healing the
hurt. Don’t approach every situation as if you're on trial, and don’t
compulsively try to convince everyone you're not guilty. Apology and
subsequent forgiveness
is stress-releasing, and healthy for the relationship, which turns out
to be healthy for the participants in the relationship. Relationships
which include healthy apology and forgiveness are less stressful, more supportive, and therefore healthier for the individuals within them.
3. Follow the following pattern for apology:
Admit your mistake: Speak directly to the person to whom you need to apologize.
State what you did (so the person knows you’re aware)
Say you’re sorry
Do a re-take: Describe what change you’ll make to fix it, and so it won’t happen again
Say “I hope you can forgive me.”
4. If that doesn’t work, ask the other person what he or she wants
you to apologize for (in case you misunderstood your mistake).
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